Stoic or Shut Down?
A descriptor I’ve used for many horses is “stoic” - but it’s not really what I mean. As someone who’s very aware of how things I say will affect other people, I try my best not to say things that will make my clients feel guilty or like they’re bad horse owners. When I fill them in on sessions, I want them to understand the different things I’m paying attention to as “progress markers” and where we start out. So, often times, I’ll label a horse as “stoic.”
What do I mean by that? The horse is shut down. They aren’t giving me much to work with in terms of visible communication, they are imitating statues, they aren’t engaging and letting their personality shine, etc. It’s like working with a perfect little show horse robot. Which, to be fair, is what a lot of adult amateurs and young riders look for. They want reliable horses. They want steady, even keel, level heads. They want horses who are easy to manage within the barn. Often times, I’m also working with leased horses who get passed around every year or two for most of their life. They’re great at their jobs, docile on the ground, but during bodywork they struggle to open up and be in their bodies.
It’s disheartening to see it, because while they’re a dream to handle day-to-day, they’re stifled. I want all the personality! I’d rather horses be nipping at me, swishing tails, moving away, rubbing their heads on me, invading my space, whatever. I want horses to be in their bodies and communicative. Because, when it boils down to it, that’s what all “naughty” behavior is. The nips and head rubs and space invasion, all of it is communication. They’re conveying that something hurts, that they love something, that they have an itch, where they want you to massage or brush, that they hate a saddle, that they feel nervous or unsure, whatever. Horses with “tons of personality” or even “attitudes” are the best communicators!
Unfortunately, I’ve seen how the industry reacts to horses communicating. They’re huge animals, yes, but they are sensitive beings. Rather than taking a moment to self-reflect on why a horse nipped at a human, the reaction is often to punish. So, horses, as prey animals, do what is necessary to survive and find safety in those situations. They retreat within themselves, shut down, and become good little robots. They are “stoic” and “well-mannered” and “have no quirks” and all the grooms and ammies love them! But I think the real issue is that there’s too many humans within the horse industry who are fearful of horses. There’s claims of how dangerous it is to have a horse that behaves a certain way, when in reality, it’s a small human afraid of what a large animal can do to them through their means of communication, and I think that’s really sad.
One of my favorite things is when I start working with a shut down horse, and over time they slowly let their personality out. They start communicating with me during sessions, letting themselves relax and release tension, and slowly open up. What’s even better is when it happens all at once. Sometimes I’ll show up to work with a horse who’s usually shut down and takes a lot of time to open up even a tiny bit, and they’re a different horse. They’ve realized I’m a safe person and they suddenly give me ALL the personality and communication and sass.
Anyway, all I hope is that you encourage personality, communication, and a relationship with your horse - for however long they’re with you. Let them be themselves, and listen to them. They’ll be better for it.