Compassion Fatigue
Every bodyworker I’ve ever met has gotten to a point of burnout. Where they feel like they literally cannot anymore. A point where the idea of clients is exhausting, energy is nonexistent, and you’d rather do anything other than work with someone’s horses. And in having conversations with them it’s always “I am SO burnt out!” But I really don’t think it’s the same as burnout for most of us.
Burnout is its own beast. Do I believe you can burnout doing what you love? Yes. Do I believe burnout exists in the bodywork industry? Of course. But what we often face is compassion fatigue.
Compassion fatigue is something that comes from a different place than burnout. It’s what we feel when we are drained after a session where we’re trying our best to help a horse but there’s so many other factors that are working against them. When we are advocating for horses and the owner is opposing us. When we are constantly dealing with bad backs and wrecked polls from ill-fitting tack. When we are seeing horses with shit feet forced to work while it ruins their body and the owner won’t change farriers. Essentially, it’s when we are caring so much and fighting so hard and doing everything in our power for these horses while it feels like everyone else is pushing back against us.
In this industry, we only have so much power. We can only do our part, educate owners, advocate for horses, and hope that things change. Oftentimes this means that we are working for people who refuse to make certain changes, and we are in a loop of trying to maintain the horse and prevent as much damage as we possibly can in the process. Not every owner will change their training, tack, management, or professionals at the drop of a hat when they realize something is wrong. Where does that leave us?
Some bodyworkers are lucky. They’re able to make a living while only working for those clients some of us consider to be our unicorns. The ones who want to learn and grow and change. The ones who - regardless of their budget - will ALWAYS do what is best for their horse. For the rest of us, we’re choosing our battles. We’re doing the best we can, while acknowledging that we can’t force people to care or change. We work for people who want to feel like they’re doing what’s best for their horse by getting them bodywork, but don’t actually want to change anything they’re doing to further support their horse. It’s rough.
The silver lining is this - we can choose. We can choose if we want to continue working for people who refuse to change. We can choose if we need to take time off to reset and touch grass and whatever else will help us recover from being people who care so deeply for client horses. We can choose what we’re willing to tolerate in this season of business and what we aren’t. And at the end of the day, isn’t choice and freedom the real reason we work for ourselves?
Compassion fatigue is tough, and it’s such an individual thing that it’s something only you can decide how to handle. I’ll share some things that I do to protect myself to give you an idea of where you might start:
I decide “if a client doesn’t choose to listen to their professionals and change this piece of tack harming their horse after X [a second saddle fitter, a vet telling them to change the saddle, etc.], I am dropping them as a client”
I schedule my clients in a way that works for me - this generally means 1 busy week followed by 1 slow week, or 1 busy week followed by 4 days off, etc.
I set and respect boundaries about clients that I know aren’t my favorite to work with - I will strategically schedule them however is best for me, sometimes that means they’re my only client in between two days off, or that I won’t take them last-minute, or that I will push them until it’s ideal for my schedule.
I remind myself that it is absolutely not okay to work with horses when I'm feeling drained. We cannot do and be our best for the horses we work with if we are drained. It is perfectly okay to reschedule clients because you don’t have the capacity at the moment to work with them.
I make sure that I do things that I love outside of horses and work. I prioritize other hobbies, my dogs, time in nature, reading, etc. Balance and self care are non-negotiable. Decide what it means for you to balance out your life and time, what self care looks like for you, and don’t push them off in the name of hustling.
Compassion fatigue is sometimes sneaky. It’ll feel like it hit you out of nowhere if you’re not careful about preventing it. And then you’ll look back at the weeks leading up to that crash and you’ll be like “well, shit… I guess that wasn’t sudden…” Protect yourself, and remember - you can only do so much, and even then, you can only do anything if you have the energy to give. Don’t sacrifice your mental health or wellbeing for this industry or your clients; the horses need you. And as always, if you wanna talk about it with someone and feel like you’re a little stuck or you aren’t sure how to handle the compassion fatigue that you’re feeling, I’m always here! Email me about it.